Epiphany

So the other night I'm up bored on Facebook (my usual routine when I don't want to do any form of work). I see that my friends do these little quizzes that is meant to tell you things like "What Kind of Superhero Are You?" and such. Well I found one that I took interest in, which was "Which Fantasy Creature Are You?" and I went along with it, not expecting any results. Heck, for all I know I was going to end up being a Unicorn or a Fairy or something. Low and behold, when I got the results back, I got the thing that I treasure the most (you guys should already know): the Phoenix.

Now usually, Facebook quizzes are a load of bullshit. Let's face it: you answer questions and usually get results that either kinda fits you or doesn't fit you at all. The funny thing about this quiz was that I answered all of the questions honestly and without trying to tweek them for a satisfying result, and what do I get? The very creature that I have grown to look up to. I had an epiphany: the phoenix is, in fact, the very reason why I strive to move forward after all. I mean I've said it a thousand times over, but after this little play on questions and answers I've come to realize that it is something that was meant to be. In all essence, I do live the life of a phoenix: I hurt, I stress, but at the end of the day I end up picking myself right back up and start a new page.

Honestly, lately I have been drained, tired, hell just down in the dumps as a whole if you must. School's definitely been stressful with the work. But you know what? I found some inner strength and inspiration to go out and do what I have to do. I have everyone in my corner that I need and the spark that I need to survive these last few weeks of my freshman year of college.

So I have been very Phoenix oriented lately: my Firefox browser is of a fire theme with golds and reds, my desktop image is of the strong firebird that's right at the top of this very blog, all a reminder that I have that inner fire to keep going.

Fire and Ashes: A Phoenix Update

So yeah, it's been a considerable amount of time since I have written a blog, and might I add SO MUCH HAS GONE ON IN MY LIFE!

First and foremost, the two words that sums up the theme of this semester: NO RESPECT. To clarify what this means, it's pretty much another way of saying that I've just learned to let live and let go. I guess you can say that I've become a little nonchalant with my classes and whatnot, but then again who's still up typing a Philosophy paper due in...oh I don't know...6 hours?

Second, I got the Orientation Leader position that I was dying over :) I definitely can't wait to be a part of the incoming first year's experience the way that my OL was for me. I feel that it would only be right to spread the love of New Paltz that I have to the young'ns so they can enjoy their first year and hopefully the rest of the college years to come.

Now as I have mentioned before, there was someone in my life who has been around for awhile that I have grown to love and appreciate so much. What of it? Only we know: and that's how it should be. As far as what everyone can know, we will always have love and respect for each other until the day we rot and biodegrade.

So all in all, there is a cycle of fire and ashes still going on in my life. I still burn, I still incinerate, but at the end of the day, I bounce right back out fresh from the ashes of life and take everything in. Life is beautiful for me right now, and I plan on making that very consistent.

Oh How I Wish I Could Sing...

"Remember those walls I built?
Well baby they're tumbling down
And they didn't even put up a fight
They didn't even make a sound
I found a way to let you in
But I never really had a doubt
Standing in the light of your Halo
I got my angel now"

-Beyonce, "Halo"

A few years ago, I had came to the realization of how much music means to me. I may not listen to every single song, but the ones that stick out to me--lyrically more than rhythmically--has such a special way of talking to me and relating to me. Songs like Halo, I Found Myself, and countless other songs speaks directly to my heart and soul. It is so funny how someone you do not know personally can share the same experiences or feel the same emotions that you can be feeling in the present moment.

Without music, I really do not know how I would cope with my life. Music makes me happy, holds me down when I'm sad or angry, makes me believe in love, makes me believe in the good times and assure me that I can always get out of the bad times. Without music, I would not know how to relieve my stresses and obstacles--especially since I love to dance. Putting both together gives me such an escape from life; being able to express myself with movements, and if I'm not moving I can express myself through the words of the artists. Hopefully, music will be there for me the rest of my life.